What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops