Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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men's rights activists

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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