What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops