roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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A pope meets another one

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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