I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Michael Brown

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops