Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

knock knock who's there? hope

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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