A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops