Roses are red, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops