My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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