There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops