Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What's just not right? Left

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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