Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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