every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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