How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops