Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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