What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops