what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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AND

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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