A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

knock knock? come in

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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