- Anti Joke

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.