- Anti Joke

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

Justin Beiber

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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