What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Matt is a Duster!

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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