Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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