roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Cripples are lame.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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