I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops