- Anti Joke

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.