What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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