Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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