What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops