What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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star wars kid

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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One time i was sitting down

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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