Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Anti - Jokes. com

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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