To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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I was watching Fox news.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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