Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What's just not right? Left

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american idol

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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