A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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