Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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