Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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b

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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