A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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someone called someone else a frog

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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