How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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