What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...