One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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