Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm so punny.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops