Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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