The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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