why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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