What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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