Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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