Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops