"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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