hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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