- Anti Joke

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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