Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Jebron Lames.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

kkkk

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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