Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops