What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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13 =B you just learned something

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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