Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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