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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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