What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops