You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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