Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops