What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

I am a mime

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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