-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Canadians

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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