What is long hard and woody? A tree.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

This is a random Anti joke.

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

what came first the chicken or the chips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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