Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops