If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What's stupid a light bulb.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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