How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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