Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops