roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops