Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Women's rights

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops